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If we look to the most basic human instincts, it is to avoid pain; just as our hand immediately, instinctively recoils from a flame, so do we flee before any possibility of being hurt, whether we are aware of it or not. This is why I have come to rely on psychoanalytic criticism (Lacan's methods in particular--a psychologist who used Freudian psychology as a launching pad for his own theores), because I believe that regardless of one’s possible response to the reality around them, their experience oriented response will always be based off a psychological reaction to hurt, whether the hurt be as deep as a repressed, painful memory or simply an idea that they dislike. In this way, I truly believe that even a subjective classroom with their own interpretations can find a solid footing in this system of understanding just where all the love has gone. So, where does the hurt root from? It begins at the most basic level, the very idea of separation--after all, if we are whole, we cannot be hurt. Here we can reference the Lacanian concept of separation from the mother: once we develop language and understand the idea of separation, we become aware that we have left the womb, left the mother. This is our first experience of absence and loss, and sets up the ultimate game of our lives, one of finding a way to cope with this incomplete, fragmented reality. Returning to the example of a hand recoiling from a fire, our instinct is to avoid hurt no matter what. It seems that as a society, we have not found a mature way to deal with this. Rather than approaching life in a sensible, and emotionally sound way, we do anything to avoid anything out of the norm, anything that has the danger to hurt us--even to the extent of avoiding new experiences, trying new things, new ideas, new music, new people. It seems to be the result of a repetitive battering in our lives--and not just ourselves, but everyone around us, enforcing this idea, that we are useless, hopeless, unable to do anything. Even people who try to change this fact are feared and reviled by others who are stuck in a pit, and this just seems to be the way it is; every man who makes great change, even for the better, has been met with gigantic resistance by the major populace. America is in a peculiar situation though; we are mostly apathetic and turn our attentions to the most trivial of pursuits--the latest diet, the latest fad, the latest celebrity gossip--all the while being misinformed by the media as we do so, making our situation even more impossible to grasp clearly. Motivation, independence, and a clear sense of self is difficult to find here; most people do not seem to have it. All of this funnels down into a general fear, mistrust and skepticism of the country we live in and the world around us. In a nation where everything seems against us, where everyone is watching everyone else, and where we seem so isolated and alone in the crowd, it is dangerous to let ourselves be seen by other people.
This constant battering has trained us to avoid anything drastic--which is why taking a step towards any kind of public affection, something both inherently emotionally dangerous as well as completely out of the norm and thus socially dangerous (for the same reasons as the act itself), is nigh impossible in our current state of mind. As I remark in my paper on Palestine, that the Palestinians “now throw stones because they have already done it for so long” (at insurgents and occupants), we also are stuck in a cycle of habit. Now, if we cannot turn to our fellow man, then who can we turn to? Love. Love, is what we can turn to. But not real love, but the desire for another being, the possessive, jealous, warped desire that spawns from a dire need for affection and real love. Society is lovesick. Part of the American dream is also the ideal of falling in love with a beautiful person, and being together for the rest of your life, perfectly--someone who is your perfect match, your other self, your perfect opposite. We are all about the “ideal love”--and in fact, much of the time it seems as if nothing else is more important in life, to have someone to fall asleep next to. I believe that it is because we cannot have any sort of normal love amongst our peers that we express our desire for “true” love absurdly, insanely, to the point of heartbreak, depression, and suicide--ends for such a thing that makes no sense. I do not believe that under these circumstances we can love; we must step outside of them. Until then, all relationships--friendships and romances alike--will merely be interpersonal politics. Relationships are nothing more than exchanges of emotional potential and power--if you hurt me, I hurt you, unless you apologize in which case I might feel a little better so long as you actually mean it--emotional comeuppance. If I want to do this, and you don’t, then we have to figure something out or maybe I’ll do something I don’t like doing so you can do something you like, and we can switch later. Do you want to be on top tonight, honey, or me? At this moment, relationships are merely conditional, interpersonal politics with the game blame and our emotional guns and our emotional currency--that’s all a relationship is, an exchange of emotional currency.
Sad i love you quotes
Sad i love you quotes
Sad i love you quotes
Sad i love you quotes
Sad i love you quotes
Sad i love you quotes
Sad i love you quotes
Sad i love you quotes
Sad i love you quotes
Sad i love you quotes
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